The people we are around will make us crazy or put us at ease, and oftentimes they do both at the same time (this is usually the case with our children and spouses!).
On Thursday evening I was on the phone with my friend Steve until 2 AM...not the exact recipe for a good night's sleep. But when the alarm went off 4 hours later I was not as weary as I was expecting and had a sense of peace about me. The restfulness of soul I felt in the morning is testimony to the power of connecting with good friends and living real lives amongst others.
On the same note, there were many nights in my younger years where staying up until 2 AM resulted in the exact opposite happening...connecting without becoming inebriated is better than getting "s--- faced" at a party and waking up sick. Wisdom comes with age, experience and pain!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Being together...I love these lyrics
"There's something in the way she moves, or looks my way, or calls my name, that seems to leave this troubled world behind...It isn't what she's got to say 'bout how she thinks and where she's been. To me, the words are nice the way they sound. Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning and I find myself careening into places where I should not let me go." (James Taylor)
Human interaction can create rest or unrest...its rarely neutral. We're "communers" and I think intended to "walk" with others. We're not designed to live life alone and not rely on anybody else, carrying our burdens by ourselves. And in the deepest relationships its just the sound of somebody's voice that brings feelings of rest...of shalom.
Tonight I sat and listened to Sarah talk, almost uninterrupted, for an hour. Truly the sound of her voice comforts me.
Human interaction can create rest or unrest...its rarely neutral. We're "communers" and I think intended to "walk" with others. We're not designed to live life alone and not rely on anybody else, carrying our burdens by ourselves. And in the deepest relationships its just the sound of somebody's voice that brings feelings of rest...of shalom.
Tonight I sat and listened to Sarah talk, almost uninterrupted, for an hour. Truly the sound of her voice comforts me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Verbs...
"Verbs are action words..." This is the mantra of every teacher who has ever tried to teach me how words fit together. "Action" speaks of "doing." But there are important verbs that are not full of action:
Pause
Quiet
Stop
Comfort
Rest
Dwell
I think I can use all of them in a sentence:
"Today I am going to pause and be quiet, stop my mind from racing and comfort my soul with thoughts of rest as I dwell in the skin God has given me."
I hope you will, too.
Pause
Quiet
Stop
Comfort
Rest
Dwell
I think I can use all of them in a sentence:
"Today I am going to pause and be quiet, stop my mind from racing and comfort my soul with thoughts of rest as I dwell in the skin God has given me."
I hope you will, too.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Olympics are bad for my rest...
The Olympics are bad for my rest! Last night, around 9:30, Sarah and I decided to turn on the men's figure skating...it didn't end until midnight! By that point, after hours of hearing stories about male figure skaters competing with one another, I was wired and tense. It was at least 1:30 before I fell asleep!
I know, we need a DVR or TIVO. But that requires cable ($30 or so a month) and a subscription ($15 a month). And if $45 a month was all it took to help me rest more it would definitely be worth it. But I have a feeling that having access to these things would actually encroach on my rest more often and more pervasively than what is already happening. If we had cable and a TIVO I'd be able to watch Zack and Cody, the History Channel, MTV etc...and if my childhood is any example I would spend many hours on my tail end not really sleeping, but not really being awake either.
The real choice is not whether to spend $45 on cable and a TIVO. The choice is between entertainment and rest...which is more important? Ugh. I love them both. But I have to choose...tonight I choose rest and sleep!
I know, we need a DVR or TIVO. But that requires cable ($30 or so a month) and a subscription ($15 a month). And if $45 a month was all it took to help me rest more it would definitely be worth it. But I have a feeling that having access to these things would actually encroach on my rest more often and more pervasively than what is already happening. If we had cable and a TIVO I'd be able to watch Zack and Cody, the History Channel, MTV etc...and if my childhood is any example I would spend many hours on my tail end not really sleeping, but not really being awake either.
The real choice is not whether to spend $45 on cable and a TIVO. The choice is between entertainment and rest...which is more important? Ugh. I love them both. But I have to choose...tonight I choose rest and sleep!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Clear Conscience...
My old friend Rick use to say (and maybe still does) that an honest man's pillow is his clear conscience. "Guilt" is a really big sleep inhibitor and prevents one from feeling any rest...ever. There are many things that can cause feelings of guilt:
1. If you have done something dishonest and morally wrong, you can feel guilt.
2. If you have failed at something that has resulted in hardship for others, you can feel guilt.
3. If you have not done something that has resulted in hardship for others, you can feel guilt.
With guilty feelings come feelings of regret and shame. When I have felt guilty I often wish that I could go back in time and change the things I did...hit the remind button...turn the clocks back!!! I can "fix" this. But usually I can't fix anything I have messed up and the only option I have is an apology, an attempt to make things better, and a stronger desire to "try harder next time." This usually does not take away my shame completely and I continue to loose sleep and rest. When I see the person I have wronged, or see the results of my sin, there is still a tinge of pain.
What I have found is that Jesus has an answer for my guilt that "sticks." My guilty feelings are based on my mistakes and "sins" that are real...real pain I have caused, real hardship I have created. Jesus takes these mistakes and sins and takes the burden I feel on the cross. He takes the hurt I have caused and heals it. He forgives the actual sin and restores my conscience. When I come to him and experience His forgiveness I can rest again.
1. If you have done something dishonest and morally wrong, you can feel guilt.
2. If you have failed at something that has resulted in hardship for others, you can feel guilt.
3. If you have not done something that has resulted in hardship for others, you can feel guilt.
With guilty feelings come feelings of regret and shame. When I have felt guilty I often wish that I could go back in time and change the things I did...hit the remind button...turn the clocks back!!! I can "fix" this. But usually I can't fix anything I have messed up and the only option I have is an apology, an attempt to make things better, and a stronger desire to "try harder next time." This usually does not take away my shame completely and I continue to loose sleep and rest. When I see the person I have wronged, or see the results of my sin, there is still a tinge of pain.
What I have found is that Jesus has an answer for my guilt that "sticks." My guilty feelings are based on my mistakes and "sins" that are real...real pain I have caused, real hardship I have created. Jesus takes these mistakes and sins and takes the burden I feel on the cross. He takes the hurt I have caused and heals it. He forgives the actual sin and restores my conscience. When I come to him and experience His forgiveness I can rest again.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Sleep Therapy...
Below is a link for an article about one Christian's perspective on sleeping. I found it an interesting read and felt it worthy of sharing.
Hope you enjoy!
http://www.christianitytoday.com/bc/2006/janfeb/2.07.html
Hope you enjoy!
http://www.christianitytoday.com/bc/2006/janfeb/2.07.html
Monday, February 8, 2010
Well, Sarah said...
Well, Sarah said that I seem to have become very good at resting over these past few snow days and that it was about time for me to get off my rear-end and get something done around the house! And, as I've learned after 11 1/2 years of marriage, when Sarah says this to me it doesn't do any good to respond with a "But honey..."
"But honey, I've really had some great times playing with the kids!"
"But honey, I've updated all of the photos on my hard drive and uploaded some really neat ones to Facebook!"
"But honey, you have no idea how stressful my job can be!"
"But honey, I did go into work for 1 day last week!"
"But honey, I've really worked hard at keeping my New Year's Resolution to rest more!"
No, "But honey's" are not the right response...the right response is to get my rear in gear and do some of the things she finds important. Yesterday that included moving a ton of snow out of the driveway.
So here are some lessons I've learned about resting from Sarah:
1. Rest is harder to find when Sarah and I are not at peace.
2. Labor is important; constant restfulness seems lazy.
3. Don't talk about my New Year's Resolution so much!
Today I'm putting it in high gear early!
"But honey, I've really had some great times playing with the kids!"
"But honey, I've updated all of the photos on my hard drive and uploaded some really neat ones to Facebook!"
"But honey, you have no idea how stressful my job can be!"
"But honey, I did go into work for 1 day last week!"
"But honey, I've really worked hard at keeping my New Year's Resolution to rest more!"
No, "But honey's" are not the right response...the right response is to get my rear in gear and do some of the things she finds important. Yesterday that included moving a ton of snow out of the driveway.
So here are some lessons I've learned about resting from Sarah:
1. Rest is harder to find when Sarah and I are not at peace.
2. Labor is important; constant restfulness seems lazy.
3. Don't talk about my New Year's Resolution so much!
Today I'm putting it in high gear early!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Snow day reflections...
We're in the middle of the 3rd snow storm in one week and I'm finding that Cabin Fever does wonders for helping me fulfill my resolution to rest more. The first day of snow falling can be summarized as follows:
1. Build snow man/woman. Take walk in storm with Abe.
2. "Dance Party" with Oak and Annabel.
3. Short nap followed by a frozen pizza and giving Oak and Abigail a bath.
4. Read 4 chapters of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" to the kids before putting them to bed late...HEDONISM!
5. Cuddle. Cuddle. Cuddle. Nine hours of sleep with the wifey!
Now it is the second day of constant snow and it looks as though things will even out at about 18 inches. Sarah's taking a nap, Abe's playing with friends and the younger three are getting along great (I'm sure we'll have a good mess to clean up soon!). There is a bottle of Spanish wine waiting to be opened and many more chapters of C.S. Lewis...this should be a great day!
I know I'll be pushing snow around with a shovel for the greater part of the day tomorrow, and that the next week will be full of unique challenges, but right now I'm enjoying being warm and cozy.
1. Build snow man/woman. Take walk in storm with Abe.
2. "Dance Party" with Oak and Annabel.
3. Short nap followed by a frozen pizza and giving Oak and Abigail a bath.
4. Read 4 chapters of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" to the kids before putting them to bed late...HEDONISM!
5. Cuddle. Cuddle. Cuddle. Nine hours of sleep with the wifey!
Now it is the second day of constant snow and it looks as though things will even out at about 18 inches. Sarah's taking a nap, Abe's playing with friends and the younger three are getting along great (I'm sure we'll have a good mess to clean up soon!). There is a bottle of Spanish wine waiting to be opened and many more chapters of C.S. Lewis...this should be a great day!
I know I'll be pushing snow around with a shovel for the greater part of the day tomorrow, and that the next week will be full of unique challenges, but right now I'm enjoying being warm and cozy.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Facebook connections and lessons...
I received this message from a close, lifelong friend in my Facebook Inbox recently:
Hey Doug,
Thanks for the bday wish! I am interested in your new year's resolution to rest more and I enjoyed reading your blog. At choir rehearsal last night (I sing with a community chorus in Bmore), the director reminded us that even a rest in music has a purpose. He said that a rest is "energized silence". This spoke to me and made me think of you and your goal to live a more restful life this year. I pray for you energized silence, for it is in rest that we are renewed.
Thanks for drawing my attention back to what matters.
Love you bro!
Kara
The phrase that jumps out at me is "energized silence." I told her in my reply that it reminds me of the feeling I get when I listen to the music from Jaws...the part right between the "TAAAA...Dump" that lasts so long. That is silence, but energized. Its not as though in between the phrase the shark is taking a break or getting distracted...he's not like, "TAAAA...Dump...'man am I sleepy'...TAAAA-Dump...'If I can only get through eating this one more helpless swimmer I'll be able to grab a quick 6 hours of sleep'...TAAAA---DUMP." The silence has a definite purpose: to scare the S--- out of everyone in the theater! Last I checked it really works.
Thank you, Kara, for the life lesson!
Doug
Hey Doug,
Thanks for the bday wish! I am interested in your new year's resolution to rest more and I enjoyed reading your blog. At choir rehearsal last night (I sing with a community chorus in Bmore), the director reminded us that even a rest in music has a purpose. He said that a rest is "energized silence". This spoke to me and made me think of you and your goal to live a more restful life this year. I pray for you energized silence, for it is in rest that we are renewed.
Thanks for drawing my attention back to what matters.
Love you bro!
Kara
The phrase that jumps out at me is "energized silence." I told her in my reply that it reminds me of the feeling I get when I listen to the music from Jaws...the part right between the "TAAAA...Dump" that lasts so long. That is silence, but energized. Its not as though in between the phrase the shark is taking a break or getting distracted...he's not like, "TAAAA...Dump...'man am I sleepy'...TAAAA-Dump...'If I can only get through eating this one more helpless swimmer I'll be able to grab a quick 6 hours of sleep'...TAAAA---DUMP." The silence has a definite purpose: to scare the S--- out of everyone in the theater! Last I checked it really works.
Thank you, Kara, for the life lesson!
Doug
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
