Sarah shared this with me yesterday morning. I hadn't heard about it on the big announcement and I immediately needed to leave for work, so I didn't have much time to process at all. When I got home last night at 8:00 the "breaking news" was over and our rabbit ear reception did not get any coverage from the news. I had a difficult time resting without processing what had happened; I had been processing it internally but needed an opportunity to process externally as well.
In the "olden days" when people talked to each other in the town square (or around the camp-fire, or in the church social hall) the opportunity to externally process was natural and regular. Cultures create ways to connect with others that reflect the trends of the day. Some say that this is why our generation has a more difficult time processing traumatic events...we don't have T-I-M-E or social permission to share outloud, or simply listen to others share outloud.
By default I went to the street corner of our age: Facebook. I wanted to share and be shared with; this is a venue that many of my circle are actively a part of and I wanted to be "with" them. I think that is O.K.
The internet was running slow and I found the outprocessing/inprocessing I needed with my lovely wife. I just like the sound of her voice!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A lifestyle of frenetic energy...
Sarah and I were looking through some old photo albums from the summer we met in North Myrtle Beach the other night. In the midst of photos that reflected the mosaic of that summer's life together I caught myself saying things like:
"I was really excited to get a job at the Surf Club because I was able to make more money per hour and they let us work a half-day on Saturday to get a few more hours in."
"Sunday was the day for church, beach outreach, and small group leader's training. Monday was a night for dinner. Tuesday was discipleship night. Wednesday was mid-week worship. Thursday was large group. Friday was time for going out on the town. Saturday was work in the morning, beach outreach in the afternoon, and large group socials at night."
"I think I should have gotten a job that paid less and required fewer hours so that I could have enjoyed my time with others more."
The thoughts that came from these pictures showed me something bigger than the individual events I was looking at. What I noticed was a summer that reflected the bigger picture of my life as an adult.
I spent the next afternoon on the hammock in our back yard watching the kids jump on the trampoline. I called a handyman to fix the bathroom toilet, let the weeds in the mulch grow a little longer, and fell asleep. When Sarah eventually woke me up I committed to spending another year learning how to live a lifestyle of rest.
"I was really excited to get a job at the Surf Club because I was able to make more money per hour and they let us work a half-day on Saturday to get a few more hours in."
"Sunday was the day for church, beach outreach, and small group leader's training. Monday was a night for dinner. Tuesday was discipleship night. Wednesday was mid-week worship. Thursday was large group. Friday was time for going out on the town. Saturday was work in the morning, beach outreach in the afternoon, and large group socials at night."
"I think I should have gotten a job that paid less and required fewer hours so that I could have enjoyed my time with others more."
The thoughts that came from these pictures showed me something bigger than the individual events I was looking at. What I noticed was a summer that reflected the bigger picture of my life as an adult.
- In High School I worked part-time jobs and did a ton of extra curricular activities, feeling over-loaded and telling myself it would change when I graduated.
- In college I took 18-20 credits a semester, practiced 2-3 hours a day, and was involved with a ton of extra curricular activities, feeling over-loaded and telling myself it would change when I graduated.
- When I graduated I worked a ton of hours with little downtime, moved around the country exploring life in the USA, and was involved with a ton of extra activities that kept me feeling over-loaded and telling myself this would change when I "settled down" with a family.
- When I got married I worked a ton of hours with little downtime, always had at least two jobs, and was involved with a ton of extra activities that kept me feeling over-loaded and telling myself that things would change when I..."got promoted in the Army," "Quit the army," "Got a higher paying job," "Potty Trained all of the kids,"...
I spent the next afternoon on the hammock in our back yard watching the kids jump on the trampoline. I called a handyman to fix the bathroom toilet, let the weeds in the mulch grow a little longer, and fell asleep. When Sarah eventually woke me up I committed to spending another year learning how to live a lifestyle of rest.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
From Winston Churchill...
I'm reading The Second World War by Winston Churchill and found his views on rest very interesting. Just after the war began and he was given the lead role in the British Navy he decided to take a nap everyday as soon after lunch as possible. Here's his explanation:
...I had recourse to a method of life which had been forced upon me at the Admiralty in 1914 and 1915, and which I found greatly extended my daily capacity for work. I always went to bed at least for one hour as early as possible in the afternoon, and exploited to the full my happy gift of falling almost immediately into deep sleep. By this means I was able to press a day and a half's work into one. Nature had not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all of the vital forces. I regretted having to send myself to bed like a child every afternoon, but I was rewarded by being able to work through the night until two or even later-sometimes much later-in the morning, and begin the new day between eight and nine o'clock. This routine I observed throughout the war, and I commend it to others if and when they find it necessary for a long spell to get the last scrap out of human structure.
Pretty well written! Couldn't have said it better myself.
...I had recourse to a method of life which had been forced upon me at the Admiralty in 1914 and 1915, and which I found greatly extended my daily capacity for work. I always went to bed at least for one hour as early as possible in the afternoon, and exploited to the full my happy gift of falling almost immediately into deep sleep. By this means I was able to press a day and a half's work into one. Nature had not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all of the vital forces. I regretted having to send myself to bed like a child every afternoon, but I was rewarded by being able to work through the night until two or even later-sometimes much later-in the morning, and begin the new day between eight and nine o'clock. This routine I observed throughout the war, and I commend it to others if and when they find it necessary for a long spell to get the last scrap out of human structure.
Pretty well written! Couldn't have said it better myself.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Daddy's day off...
Yesterday I took a sick day because of a procedure Sarah was having in the dentist office that was going to take her out of action for a while (its odd taking a sick day when I am not sick).
First was the normal routine getting Annabel to school. Then scrambled to help Abe get his homework done at the last minute (a regular routine in our home). After dropping Sarah off at the dentist office and Abe off at his school I had a great date with Abigail at Red Robin! Then it was back to pick-up Sarah. After getting her home and in "nap mode" Oak and I went back to pick-up Annabel from school, after which we went to look at dogs at the SPCA (only for fun) and to Sam's club. By then the big brother was done with school so we picked him up, went to the doctor's office to pick-up a prescription, and headed home. Sarah and Abigail were just waking up and I got started on dinner. After dinner was more homework, PJ's, bedtime stories and clean-up.
I loved being with the kids all day, but by 9:30 I was comatose in bed...wiped out! Good work leads to good rest.
First was the normal routine getting Annabel to school. Then scrambled to help Abe get his homework done at the last minute (a regular routine in our home). After dropping Sarah off at the dentist office and Abe off at his school I had a great date with Abigail at Red Robin! Then it was back to pick-up Sarah. After getting her home and in "nap mode" Oak and I went back to pick-up Annabel from school, after which we went to look at dogs at the SPCA (only for fun) and to Sam's club. By then the big brother was done with school so we picked him up, went to the doctor's office to pick-up a prescription, and headed home. Sarah and Abigail were just waking up and I got started on dinner. After dinner was more homework, PJ's, bedtime stories and clean-up.
I loved being with the kids all day, but by 9:30 I was comatose in bed...wiped out! Good work leads to good rest.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Its good to be the king...
In one of Mel Brooks' films a arrogant and out of touch French King is famous for audaciously stating, "Ah, its good to be king!" The audacity is evident because in saying this he is showing everyone around that he is a big jerk with no idea how to truly lead anything, let alone a country. I think the film is The History of the World, but I'm not sure.
When times are tough and I feel like I'd like a dose of "control everything" I need to remember that I am not, essentially, able to force things to go my way. Other people, over whom I have no control, were involved with creating my challenges and other people, over whom I have no control, will be involved with fixing them (if they can be fixed, that is).
Recognizing that I am not sovereign is a step towards finding rest. If I have to be the solution to every problem, or the hero of every story, I will strive, connive, control and usurp all day long to "make it happen." Last I checked, striving, conniving, controlling and usurping are not the traits of a restful person.
The person who can find rest is the one who can rest in spite of the poor circumstances and "out-of-controlledness."
When times are tough and I feel like I'd like a dose of "control everything" I need to remember that I am not, essentially, able to force things to go my way. Other people, over whom I have no control, were involved with creating my challenges and other people, over whom I have no control, will be involved with fixing them (if they can be fixed, that is).
Recognizing that I am not sovereign is a step towards finding rest. If I have to be the solution to every problem, or the hero of every story, I will strive, connive, control and usurp all day long to "make it happen." Last I checked, striving, conniving, controlling and usurping are not the traits of a restful person.
The person who can find rest is the one who can rest in spite of the poor circumstances and "out-of-controlledness."
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Bright Lights, Big City...
I've lived in the country and I've lived in the city. I've lived in some of the smallest, most remote towns in the United States and I've lived in some of the largest, most important cities.
I remember riding with my parents through the desert at night. We'd be able to see the lights from the upcoming towns looming on the horizon and, no matter how tiny the place really was, the lights made it look grand and promising! In the desert you can see the towns coming from miles and miles away.
I remember riding with my parents up I-10 from San Diego to visit my uncle in LA. On those nights we would drive for 3 straight hours at 65 mph and never have a moment when there were not vast numbers of streetlights or house lights surrounding the road in every direction. The population was dense and the lights made me feel like I was a part of something big! In the sprawling cities lights are everywhere.
Now I'm sitting in my living room with a fire in the fireplace and the oil lamps burning. My wife is asleep next to me on the couch, the children are out-cold, and the dog is settling in. Its bitter cold outside and I am thankful not to be on the road going anywhere tonight!
I remember riding with my parents through the desert at night. We'd be able to see the lights from the upcoming towns looming on the horizon and, no matter how tiny the place really was, the lights made it look grand and promising! In the desert you can see the towns coming from miles and miles away.
I remember riding with my parents up I-10 from San Diego to visit my uncle in LA. On those nights we would drive for 3 straight hours at 65 mph and never have a moment when there were not vast numbers of streetlights or house lights surrounding the road in every direction. The population was dense and the lights made me feel like I was a part of something big! In the sprawling cities lights are everywhere.
Now I'm sitting in my living room with a fire in the fireplace and the oil lamps burning. My wife is asleep next to me on the couch, the children are out-cold, and the dog is settling in. Its bitter cold outside and I am thankful not to be on the road going anywhere tonight!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Put it into practice...
Over the past year I've reflected on how "rest" is as much a frame of mind as it is a physical activity. I've learned that the mind, body, soul and spirit must work together to find quietness and stillness. Little things like a regular bedtime, good/clean/clear friendships, stories & music, and working hard at a job I love, am good at, and find purpose in are all vital to make it through the "long haul" in peace. I've also learned that sacrificing many things that I like, even some that I really-really like, is necessary at times. Now it is time to put these things into practice in 2011!
Three years ago I "resoluted" to get to know myself better and find comfort in my own skin. Two years ago my resolution was to live a life of joy. Following those two up with a life of rest was the perfect order for me.
This year my goal is to adopt a more giving spirit...a crazy, "you should know better than to give that away" spirit. A "damn Doug, we can't afford to give that away" spirit. A "we really need to make a big sacrifice in our comfort level because its time to give deeply" spirit.
At dinner the other night I WAY overtipped because my beautiful bride reminded me of the vow I've made...it was awesome and freeing. I've heard it said that we can't outgive God...this year I'm going to try!
May God bless you all...and please don't use my vow as an opportunity to "gold dig"!
Three years ago I "resoluted" to get to know myself better and find comfort in my own skin. Two years ago my resolution was to live a life of joy. Following those two up with a life of rest was the perfect order for me.
This year my goal is to adopt a more giving spirit...a crazy, "you should know better than to give that away" spirit. A "damn Doug, we can't afford to give that away" spirit. A "we really need to make a big sacrifice in our comfort level because its time to give deeply" spirit.
At dinner the other night I WAY overtipped because my beautiful bride reminded me of the vow I've made...it was awesome and freeing. I've heard it said that we can't outgive God...this year I'm going to try!
May God bless you all...and please don't use my vow as an opportunity to "gold dig"!
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